Article Reference Code: BC01122025
The older you get, the less you care about how people think of you. Living in a town with many older people has made me rethink what I do each day and the decisions I make. Here, people prioritise life very differently.
My partner, who is significantly older than me, once told me that he had spent more than half of his life trying to impress others, and now he finally feels he does not need to. What a relief. He used to wear Armani suits, shave every morning, and present himself a certain way. Today he wears shirts with holes, walks comfortably down the street, and no longer reacts when people comment on how he should look. He simply does not care. That kind of peace is rare. Sometimes I find myself worrying more about how he dresses than he does.
When a younger person has money in the bank, they often buy things to look good and avoid judgement, because many people only see the surface. When an older person has much more money saved, they are not thinking about what to purchase so others can admire them. They already feel they have everything they need. What they own may be basic, but it is practical. They do not feel the urge to spend so people can recognise their wealth from a distance.
One day I saw a post on social media that reminded me how much of social media is performance rather than genuine sharing. A woman placed many gifts under the Christmas tree and posted a photo online for a baby who was not even one year old. At that age, a baby may touch or explore a toy, but they do not fully understand what a toy is or how to play with it. It made me wonder who the gifts were really for. I am not judging anyone, but if we look closely, many posts are more for ego than for true life fulfillment.
For many elderly people, simply being seen as wealthy is no longer a priority. They still value respect, but they understand that real respect comes in many forms. Genuine respect does not come from looking good. It comes from character, kindness, and the way a person has lived their life. They understand that genuine relationships are the real treasure in life. They do not want people around them only because there is something to gain. They want people who stay because they truly care.
My partner once shared how, when he worked in property in big cities, people judged you based on who you were and what you earned. But elderly people eventually learn that if someone stays only because you are someone, then they will leave when you are no one. A personal example reminded me of this. Years ago, a lady from my coaching institute reached out to me after I did my TEDx talk. She suddenly called me “dear” as if we had been long term friends, even though we had never communicated before. She later told me she had lost her job and still had a family to provide for. My heart softened and I told her to let me know if she needed help. Then she asked if I could give her a session on how to become a TEDx speaker. I was not comfortable. Not because I did not want to share what I know, but because she approached me only after I had done something impressive. And becoming a TEDx speaker does not feed a family. Reputation does not replace basic needs.
Talking about body confidence, social media often tells us that men only like women who look a certain way. But that is simply not true. I have interviewed many men and asked whether they only like women with big breasts, or a certain skin colour, or blond hair. You quickly realise they are far more open minded than social media suggests. So if you are considering plastic surgery to enlarge your breasts, the question becomes important. Are you doing it for yourself, or for other people. Because if the desire comes from pressure and fear of judgement, the surgery will not give you the confidence you are looking for.
Even when I write a post, I ask myself whether my words are coming from ego. Am I trying to impress, or am I trying to help someone see themselves differently. Every decision has a reason behind it. The earlier we truly realise that we only live once, the more time we gain on earth to focus on what matters. Everyone knows we only have one life, yet not many people live as if they believe it.
Another interesting thing about country towns is how many elderly people live in old farm houses without wanting to renovate. At first you assume they cannot afford to restore anything, then you find out they have more money in the bank than you imagined. It reminds me of a friend who wears the same clothes every day. If you saw how simply he spends his money, you would never guess he has over a million dollars in assets at a young age. People often misunderstand what wealth really looks like. People are wealthy not because they wear gold chains. They are wealthy because they do not spend money trying to look wealthy.
So why do people purchase things to impress others. It is because if they do not dress in a certain way, many people judge them by face value. One of the biggest human fears, according to psychology, is the fear of not being enough. And when we do not show what we have, people create their own story about us based only on what they see.
Before I started my C.C.Within business, I worked quietly in a shed. I rarely went out. People made comments that made me uncomfortable because they assumed I did nothing with my life. I rarely talked about my work because I did not feel the need to announce that I had a long waiting list or share how much I earned. My business is rare, so people made strange assumptions about my income. No wonder so many people feel pressured to post expensive purchases online to prove they can afford things. It is a pattern many fall into.
Eventually I grew tired of how little understanding people had of my business and how strange the assumptions were. So I began leaving gentle hints in my posts. But even that made me realise I was starting to fall into the same pattern of trying to impress. Then another challenge appears. People do not like it when they think you are showing off. They become uncomfortable as if you are standing out too much. Then suddenly you feel the pressure to be humble again.
When I say all this, it does not mean we should stop dressing up or stop caring about our appearance. At the end of the day, many people still judge by face value. This is simply how the world works. The important thing is to remember that if you want to pursue something in life, you should pursue it because you truly want it. The trap is always there, and as long as you interact with people, you will feel how strongly society reacts to surface level impressions. Some people can see beyond face value, but only a few.
I am not saying that you do not need to care about how you dress or look. You still do, but only to a level that feels comfortable and true to you. A level that helps you feel good about yourself, and maybe also good for the people you love. The difference is that you dress for yourself, not for approval. No matter what we do, people will always have something to say. The simplest and most fulfilling way to live is to follow what we truly like and stop trying to impress or please anyone.
This photo was taken live in Bangkok, Thailand by photographer Tony Anima. Many people may not know that I also do modelling work to show that body confidence can be rebuilt through the model I shared in my TEDx talk. If you would like me to unpack my body confidence model through a workshop, click HERE. If you would like to book me for modelling, click HERE.
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About the author
I’m Chi Chi Wang, helping people who struggle with body image build confidence and live with purpose.
Thank you for reading. If this reflection spoke to you, I invite you to explore more articles, each one is written to help you build confidence, self-worth, and a healthier body image.
📖 My book From Ugly to Beautiful Without Surgery is now available, created from over ten years of exploration into what true beauty really means.
💡 If you’re ready to go deeper, C.C.Within offers workshops, talks, and coaching programs designed to help you rebuild self-trust and live with purpose.
The C.C.WITHIN™ Model is my original framework for building undeniable confidence without changing your appearance. First introduced in 2025.
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