People often try to understand others by looking only at what they can see. The mind takes shortcuts. It reads the surface and assumes it knows the story, even though what we see outside rarely explains what is happening within. This tendency also shows why over seventy three percent of Australians struggle with body confidence. We are trained to evaluate appearance before character, so we focus on the outside and forget that a person’s worth is rooted inside.
On social media, many curate the perfect image with the right angles and highlight moments. Behind that effort is not always confidence. Often, it is a search for recognition. In contrast, those who are secure within themselves do not feel the need to prove anything. They build quietly and work without announcing. Ironically, because they are not performing for approval, others sometimes underestimate them.
I have a friend who became financially successful at a young age. People think he is lucky or carefree because his schedule appears flexible. They see freedom but they do not see the years of discipline, failure and resilience that built that freedom. They see the result, not the work.
This is where another challenge appears. When we speak to people who are not on a similar path, it can become a silent struggle. We often find ourselves explaining our work to avoid being underestimated while at the same time making ourselves smaller so they do not feel threatened. It is not a lack of confidence. It is simply that people understand only from the limits of their own experience.
That is why we naturally feel at ease with those who understand effort without explanation. With them, there is no performance, no proving and no shrinking. Understanding does not come from looking. Understanding comes from depth.
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