Confidence detects everything we choose
When you lack confidence, you feel you don't have the right to do certain things or the privilege to feel happy. As all happiness is somehow not allowed, some people seem to put a bucket of cold water over your warm heart.
When you see the lovely clothes you like, you love them so much, but you worry that you can't match the standard of the clothes, so you decide to put them back.
I empathize with the weight of your doubts and insecurities. They can feel like a heavy burden, constantly pulling you down, and I've been there too.
For years, my low self-esteem constantly questioned my existence and detected the things I could or couldn't do—the people I could love and those I couldn't.
Past judgments of how people saw me became the most honest self-talk. In fact, it is cognitive distortion. The brain creates these mental filters as shortcuts to reduce the burden of processing lots of information simultaneously.
According to research, it happens to everyone in various degrees. We use past experience to predict the future. But with self-awareness, we can break free from the restrictions of the past and live more fully in the present. It's a powerful tool that can empower us to overcome our doubts and insecurities.
Breaking free from hurt can be incredibly challenging. Our environment can influence us so much that unless we are out of a particular environment setting, we sometimes find the challenge of the states quote difficult.
For some, it could mean leaving behind the people or environment you are most familiar with and allowing yourself to experience life from a different perspective.
For me, I chose the most extreme way to leave my past pain behind me: I left my country, where I spent 19 years of my life. I changed my eating habits and language and left all the people I knew. It was a bold move, a leap of faith into the unknown.
That was an escape from my deep pain, which reminds me every single day- I was not good enough.
Over the years, I've built my confidence step by step through achieving my goals and surrounding myself with the right people. These 'right' people can express their emotions healthily, see the good in me, love me, and give me a chance to grow.
Surrounding yourself with the right people is essential. However, knowing who you are and building your personality and competence is also important. If we develop our character through the validation of others, we can sometimes get very disappointed.
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