Psychologically, one of our survival mechanisms is fight. When someone we care about suddenly lashes out or becomes harsh, it can be confusing and hurtful. I use strong words here because that’s often how it feels in the moment.
But in many cases, it’s not because they hate us or no longer care. Often, it’s their way of coping with internal discomfort, especially for those who carry pain from the past. The fight response can be a sign that something inside them feels unsafe, even if we’re not the cause.
In situations like this, we face a nuanced truth:
If being around them doesn’t harm our mental health and we feel emotionally safe, we might choose to stay, not to fix them, but to be a calm and steady presence. With healthy boundaries, our presence alone can help regulate their nervous system.
But this isn’t always easy, or always possible. If the behavior becomes abusive, unsafe, or consistently harmful, walking away can be an act of self-respect. Supporting others doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.
Emotional support is powerful. And so is knowing your own limits.
Feel free to share if this message resonates with you or someone you know.
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