Growing up in a dysfunctional family can shape our beliefs about love. It can make us feel like love is something that disappears. We may begin to expect that the people we care about will eventually leave, just as love once did in our early lives.
For a long time, I held on to that belief. I assumed love would always come with distance or disappointment. But over the years, life gently proved me wrong. The people who stayed were not my family. They were friends and my partner. They kept showing up. They offered love that was steady, quiet, and real.
Love, I have learned, can be reliable. It can be kind and nurturing, even when our past tells us otherwise. Sometimes, we do not believe in it right away. But over time, we begin to feel its truth.
One of the most powerful lessons I have learned is that we do not have to be a good girl or a good boy all the time in order to be loved. We do not have to earn love by being perfect or by always saying the right thing. Real love makes space for our full humanity, including our mistakes, our moods, and our moments of uncertainty.
The environment we are in makes a difference. Healing is much harder in places where love is used to control or hurt. That is why I hope each of us finds an environment where love feels gentle, honest, and safe. We all deserve that kind of love.
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