When we were young, we spoke without thinking. We played, we teased, and sometimes we said things we didn’t truly mean.
I once watched a show that reunited a man who had been bullied in school with the person who had bullied him. Now adults, they sat across from each other, reflecting on the past. The former bully was shocked to learn that a single careless comment had followed the other man for years. What felt like a fleeting remark had left a lasting scar.
Bullying is never excusable, no matter our age. But as we grow, we start to develop compassion, first for ourselves and then for others. We look back and regret the things we once said or did, wishing we had known better. But at the time, we simply didn’t.
That does not erase the pain we caused or justify the suffering of those who were hurt. But it reveals something important. Many people who hurt us never fully understand the damage they have done. And even if they do, they may never admit it, perhaps out of shame or because they have moved on.
This is why healing rarely comes from them. It comes from within us. From recognizing that our worth is not defined by someone’s thoughtless words. From realizing that we are not who they said we were, and we never were.
Because while they may not have known what they were doing to you, you have the power to decide what happens next.
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