Last night, I attended a dance party. I noticed a woman who seemed distant when interacting with me but was warm and passionate with others. I have known her from the dance club since last April, but we have never had a conversation that lasted more than five minutes.
On the drive home, I spent an hour and a half wondering what I had done wrong. Did the way I looked or presented myself make her dislike me?
These thoughts revealed my deeper expectation of being liked by everyone and feeling validated through others’ perceptions of me. However, the truth is that no matter how we look or present ourselves, it is impossible to be universally liked.
I realized that I often tie my confidence to things I cannot control, including someone’s attitude or assumptions about me based on appearance. Even if I spent days analyzing the situation or changing how I look, I could not change their perception unless they chose to engage and truly understand me.
This experience reminded me of how easily we can internalize others’ reactions, even when they have little to do with who we are or how we appear. Instead of letting those thoughts affect my self-confidence, I am choosing to focus on what I can control: how I see myself.
I am grateful for this moment because it allowed me to uncover a pattern in my thinking that has persisted for years. By becoming aware of it, I can break free from the cycle of letting others’ responses impact my self-worth and start building confidence from within.
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