Shutting down emotions could be a typical reaction when we were hurt as a child.
When I was younger, my parents always argued. It was excruciating initially, but in the end, I learned to shut down my emotions and be strong to protect myself from getting hurt again.
Today, I have healed most of my wounds and can embrace my emotions with acceptance and understanding.
However, when I first met my partner, who was highly humorous and talkative, I did not know how to react to his conversations. I always felt awkward around people and didn't know what to say or how.
I was constantly in survivor mode.
Research shows that survival mode is a natural response to life's challenges—a coping mechanism that protects us from potential threats.
For a long time in my childhood, I needed to protect my feelings, so I shut down. Even when I left Taiwan and my family, I kept myself in survival mode—defending myself. I was not conscious and didn't realize I was no longer in danger. It was an unconscious act after experiencing the hurt for a long time.
Sometimes, we may feel we are okay with all emotions and don't have problems with them. An excellent way to check emotional maturity would be to ask if you are okay with the people around you healthily expressing their feelings.
We may prefer to dismiss their feelings through laughter, not taking things seriously or any other ways, so we don't need to look into it.
If so, we may treat our own emotions in the same way—we dismiss our feelings. This can lead to a place where we find it challenging to create meaningful and deep connections with people around us.
It can also affect our relationships with partners, family, and friends. Therefore, we are unable to meet the human need for belonging.
We offer a 30-minute free discovery session to help you reconnect with your emotions and improve your relationships with the people you care about the most.
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